Tag Archives: parenting

What brand are you?

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What brand are you?

People, people, people…where have we let the devil invade our worth?  Everywhere.  We are of such value, yet we allow Satan to lie to us, rob us, and destroy us.  (I believe God warned us of this…1 Peter 5:8)

Through our lack of accepting value in what God created us to be, we are never fulling the purpose God made for us.  Many never see salvation because they were never taught that our Creator made them, loved them, and valued them.  They will suffer for eternity because a generation of parents failed them.  I have read that ungodly parents are Satan’s best tool and I am sold that that is true.

Then you have those that are born-again yet have accepted the comfort of our culture.  They choose to either hide in the wealth and success, or poverty and tragedy only to pass down to their children that we not victors but rather we will become victims unless we become “successful.”  Their children never see the value their lives have in the plan of their Creator.  Therefore, they too will see Hell or hell on earth as a believer that steadily chooses self over God.

We have believed the lie that seeing our value in Christ is somehow self-exalting.  So we become self-proclaimed martyrs or shuck the idea all together and believe that only our effort gives us value.  These lies have given birth to heretical “christian” theology all over the place.  The problem is the true definition of our value in Christ is not an easy road and so we don’t like to talk about it, much less teach it and therefore we give Satan an easy hole to slip through.

We have GREAT value to Christ, not because we are so special per se, but because we are His creation.  The Mona Lisa would not be near as valuable if I would have painted it.

I recently learned that many stores buy from the same clothing manufacturer, put their label on the clothes and sell them.  So depending on what store you go into, will decide what price you will pay.  Same clothes, same manufacturer, but because of who is claiming them different value.

Can you see where I’m going here?

If you want to strap an evolution tag on you…go right ahead.  They can sell that junk at the discount stores. But I know I was hand-painted, well thought out, designed and appreciated in completion.  Loved even.  That doesn’t mean I’ve done anything, it means The One that designed me did everything.  AND it means I have value.  And what’s even cooler is that He isn’t selling.  Our Manufacturer isn’t a 3rd party, but the Designer, Creator and Owner.  We don’t have to worry about getting lost, stolen, broken…nothing.  He makes us, grows us and at the right time gives us the option to remain His or be sold at the discount stores.  If we choose to remain His then He gives us a job.  He provides for us, protects us, directs us, makes all the tough decisions for us, and loves us like the unique valuables we are.  But if we choose to go to the discount store we can expect just what the clothes in there receive.    Most times they are worn as necessity and when they are no longer usable tossed in the trash to be incinerated.

How sad.  Those wearing the discount store version never took notice at the hand-painted color or the intricate weaving together of the fabric.  They didn’t notice how perfectly they fit.  This is no accident.  Satan is about.

This is the result of a war that we cannot see.  This is why faith is so important.  The evidence of things not seen is all around us, faith is hoping in The Jesus that we cannot see, but have absolute certainty in His title as Christ.

We must receive His tag and we must accept His job if we truly want our children to know a better life than the lies of self-esteem, self-made, or self-established.  No one self-(fill in the blank) is valued as much as the one that is created by an Amazing Creator, cared for, and put on display as a beautiful work of art!  Nor are they ever as fulfilled.  Do you want your children to live on the teeter-totter of happiness and despair?  Or do you want them to live fulfilled in the Hand of One that can and will do what He says.  And even if the outside doesn’t take on our idea of a masterpiece…fortunately there is One that knows far more than we, and He can compose them into such that we could never know.  That my friend equals peace…for you and them.

How much would you pay to make sure all your children’s needs are met and they are completely peaceful all their days?  I know Someone that paid with His life, and I pray you know Him too.  More so, I pray your children know Him and accept His value for them.  

I know Who created you…but I ask what brand are you?

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The best way to teach…

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The best way to teach…

I found this in one of the blogs I follow.  I wish I could remember where so I could give them proper credit.

Anyway I think it is an awesome assessment for anyone teaching.  And not just teaching school, but teaching their kids, teaching at church, or simply giving counsel.

Use it to study, pray the verses and hang it somewhere to remind you in those teachable moments we are to point to Jesus for their correction (allow their hearts to be changed), not punish out of frustration (temporarily stop the behavior).  *note to self*

How to teach like Jesus

I find 2 things in my roles as teacher, #1-the best way to learn is teach, and #2-teaching is a gift, use it wisely.

Happy teaching!!!

The performance beast raises it’s ugly head again…

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The performance beast raises it’s ugly head again…

Since reading a post from ‘Raising Godly Children’ about “raising little Pharisees” (an excellent post by the way), I have fallen under great conviction.  As I read it and my children matched up to the criteria of Pharisees and my parenting style matched up with the criteria of a Pharisee, I was stopped in my tracks.  I began re-assessing all kinds of things in our daily life.  I began to realize that although my intentions to fill them with the ways of the Lord, the way I was doing it was very wrong.  I had done the very thing that God has NOT done with me…made things of the law.  Not that I yelled at them all the time (but I am guilty), not that I sacrificed animals with them, not that I never show them love and not that I myself perform spiritual rituals with no true love for the Father.  I do love the Lord, with all my heart, soul, mind and strength.  But I was intensely trying to force them to obey Him because I loved Him…not teaching them in a way that they would obey because they love Him.  Now I do believe that my kids love the Lord, but my harsh teaching style when it came to life lessons was probably giving them reason to doubt, AND was not creating repentance in them.  It was creating little law abiders.  Oh they love the law!  Because they are generally good kids and are able to most times fulfill it.  And heaven knows they have learned to spot those that are NOT fulfilling it. Little Pharisees.

So I have been trying to take complete inventory of what I’ve taught them and more importantly what I’ve shown them.   The way I have let Pharisee law creep into our home is by disciplining them when I was angry.  Or disciplining them more when I was frustrated because I was wanting to do something  and they were interrupting me.  Or by telling them that those that love the Lord follow His rules, so why are they not doing that?  …By rating them on their performance.  This is hard to write and was even harder to face, because I, being raised on the principal that performance is what counts was trying so hard not to let my kids learn that wicked, never relenting message.  Yet here I am almost 10 years into parenting with 2 little Pharisees.   Prided when the did right and quick to point out those that don’t.  Hearts that were hardening to the gospel because they thought, ‘We’ve got this” since they could follow the law most of the time.

I thought I was giving grace.  There are many times I didn’t give what they would deserve.  And mercy because I gave them freedom when they didn’t deserve it.  But I was so harsh when I did give them consequences, and so harsh when they failed to perform that they were learning the disease I have been fighting against in my own mind, so hard, …all my life…performance based grace.

My inability to see it makes me cry even now.  I am so blessed that God has opened my eyes while I have time to change; albeit not much.

I see it so many times in my husband and I both…we are frustrated and will pierce their hearts with how badly they performed; instead of taking the time to teach them and bring their hearts to repentance.  Sometimes out of laziness, sometimes out of selfishness, sometimes out of bad insight on how to make them change, but always saying the same thing…you didn’t measure up and somethings wrong with you because of it.  Yeah somethings wrong…WITH ALL OF US!  It started with Adam and Eve and until my Lord comes for us we will all be wrong in our performance.  That why Jesus came.  How did I miss this?

My youngest daughter will probably struggle with this more because she is already inclined to self-righteousness by the fact that it is her nature to over-achieve.  So like me we can easily think ourselves to be the pride of the Father because we are performing so well.  I hate it.  I wished so badly I would have fought this ugly monster for her earlier.  I know in my own life how hard it is to fight after it’s taken hold.  This blog post is the very proof that I don’t even always see it manifesting itself.

And my poor older daughter that is inclined to laziness, possibly because I’ve made it impossible to achieve for her since her nature is not to over-achieve but to enjoy everything she sees around her.  Who has time to enjoy when there is so much to be done?  (my wretched motto)

I’m broken about this, but also encouraged that the Lord is shining light on it, telling me He has stepped in to change it.  I cannot change it.  I have failed to do the very thing that I desire the most…to give my girls a love for the Lord that surpasses anything else.  To make them realize their value is in God’s love for us, not our own accomplishments.

I love the Lord so much because He has been the only one in my life that did not expect me to perform.  He has been the only one I can remember that said, “I just want your heart, nothing more, because I love you just as you are.”   All those years I spent trying to prove I was good and worthy to be loved ended in the same place, heart-broken, frustrated and wondering where I hadn’t done enough.  A place that would send me into a heel-digging, overachiever, determined to do EVERYTHING PERFECT the next time phase.

Finally I picked up a bible and started reading it.  Finally I heard the heart of THE PERFECT ONE and finally He got it thru to me that I needn’t prove myself to Him.  Well I say “got it thru,” maybe getting it thru is a more honest statement.  Obviously I am still struggling with this performance beast.  But thankfully I have the Lord on my side now.  So when I end up in this heart-broken, frustrated, and wondering where I haven’t done enough place…I can repent, ask the Lord for help and have hope shine on me…love shine on me, just because He thinks I’m worth it.  Broken, sinful me is worth it to Him.  And so are my little Pharisees, to both of us.

Please read this with this in mind, God loves us freely.  He teaches us kindly.  Deals with us patiently.  And He values us regardless.  Do the same with your children.  And pray that God will heal me and mine.