Tag Archives: Love

Ok ladies, prepare to be offended…

Let me begin with a couple of disclaimers: 1.) I have no authority to teach a man, therefore, they can keep scrolling (they’re on God’s radar not mine). 2.)I am not talking to the unbelievers…they have never tasted the sweetness of my Saviour through repentance of their wickedness, nor committed their lives to His care, so they aren’t on my radar either. I am talking to all the professing christian women that get burned by my words.

Next, let me tell you that this is coming from a heart of love and confession. Not the kind of love that makes you feel good, but the kind of love that calls you into repentance so that you can experience the full measure of what God has in store for you. Why waste my keyboard? Bc I do desire so many of us to experience more than the small life we have…I want us to live in that place that God is glorified in and our families, have peace and joy overflowing.

Here goes.

Do you know it’s ok not to like someone? Do you know it’s ok to recognize someone is right or wrong? Do you know that you are actually called to examine the fruit of people, and then proceed accordingly? Jesus didn’t like everyone. He recognized and called out those that were wrong and He pointed out the lack of fruit from the hypocrites. He drew lines in the sand…literally. He held people to their word.

It seems the anti-God mantras of today….”can’t we all just get along,” “don’t worry, be happy,” or “some things are better left unsaid,” have processed in our self-protecting brains into…”can’t you just keep truth to yourself and pretend things are perfect so we can all get along and I can live like I want to?” And, “don’t worry, just don’t think and medicate with fake blindness so you don’t notice all the sin around you.” Last one, “some things are hard to say, and you might not like me if I say them so they are easier left unsaid.”

Geez! I am reminded of John the Baptist as I type. I am the voice of the one calling out from the malls, the voice of the one calling out from your kids ballgames, the voice of the one calling out from your ladies nights out, the voice of the one calling out AT CHURCH, the voice of the one calling in your BIBLE STUDIES, the voice of the one calling out in your homes where your children watch every move…”Repent, repent the Kingdom of God is at hand!!”

Ok now we are at the meat of the reason I’m up at 4am typing…have you heard the conversations we are having these days, ladies? I admit I am very bad at small talk. If put in a situation that I have to, I say things like, “so what kind of gum do you chew?” Or, “have you watched any good documentaries lately?” Total uncomfortable silence. I would be better off to say what I’m really thinking, “Do you know Jesus as Lord? If you don’t I’m going to pray right now and ask God to show me how to leave you with the gospel of Christ.” At least the uncomfortable silence would have a good meaning.

And when I put the ball in someone’s else’s court and they ask me something like, “Do you watch the newest TV show ‘Hell’s Angels’?” And I have no idea what they’re talking about but by the sounds of it, it’s just like the rest of the garbage on TV.  At that point I’m stammering to hold on to my “woman chit-chat gene.”  Most times I fail and they move on to someone else and I listen in sadness at the self-indulgent, Christ DIS-honoring talk that plays out.

I love to talk about Jesus, but no one else does!!!  Every time I open up a casual conversation with anything about Jesus, it’s worst than uncomfortable silence…the unbelievers look at me like, “Oh you’re one of them,” and the christians agree with whatever I say just to shut me up.   The christians all know how to “amen” and “hallelujah” at the right times. They know they are supposed to do/think/act/SPEAK like Christ, or at least like they love Him. But they don’t really; at least not as much as they love themselves or the accomplishments of their kids and family. You can’t say the Lord’s name in vain 5 times, tell me you’ve done nothing all week but cater to your kids, you hate your job; and then agree that Jesus is the best thing since sliced bread. If you love SomeONe don’t you want to talk about Him? Absolutely, that’s how I know what you really love. Jesus says, “For the mouth speaks out of that which fills the heart. The good man brings out of his good treasure what is good; and the evil man brings out of his evil treasure what is evil. But I tell you that every careless word that people speak, they shall give an accounting for it in the day of judgment.” (Matthew 12, emphasis mine) Come on girls! You know how to love your kids, but not how to love a Saviour that died to save you from God’s wrath?

Your words come from a process. You think about it, it goes into your heart, you love it, you speak it. Think, desire, do. So I know what you think about and what you love by what you talk about. If you are complaining, you are telling God, He gave you a bad life. If you talking in fear, you are saying God isn’t big enough to handle __(blank)___. If you are putting someone down, you are saying God had to pay more for them than you. If you are talking about the latest worldly line of junk, you are saying I don’t read my bible near enough. Don’t worry my toes are getting squished too. I love to talk about Jesus, but as soon as I see it will be one sided…I defer and begin the same routine as everyone else…complain, worry, put down, distract.

How sad our Saviour must be at this. He conquered death, put a worth on us that we could never deserve, restores our souls, and provides ALL we truly need, and we respond to Him with selfish lives that dishonor everything He did.

I can’t tell you how many times I hear christians saying OMG and the like! Or cuss. These are the easy things to rid our filthy mouths of. If I have to come home and explain to my kids why a “christian” said the Lord’s name in vain, or why they would allow their children to do/say __(blank)__, or why they are always so worldly; then you can bet your kids notice also!! I call all of us into repentance!

Our words as christian women should be to honor Christ! We should proclaim His goodness. We should have fruit to talk about! We should hold each other accountable! We should build others up according to their needs. We should use gracious words of humility and truth. We should be talking about the choices we need to make to raise our children to love Christ and honor Him with their lives. We should be helping one another to see the good in our husbands instead of laughing and tearing them down. I am ashamed of many conversations I’ve taken part in.

If women truly use 25,000 words a day…how much glory could we give our Saviour in just one day? I pray we would choke on every idle word. And I’m not talking about being nice! I’m talking about hard truth when it’s needed. I’m talking about stopping the conversation when it’s getting dark. I’m talking about making others uncomfortable if they continue. I’m talking about a higher calling. Don’t spout christian-ese at church and then complain the rest of the week and expect me to believe you love Jesus. Lip service dishonors Him. Be ye doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving your own selves! (James 1:22) I’m talking about truly helping one another live a life that would fill us with joy, peace and strength that passes all we know.

It’s a hard road to walk alone. It’s not undo-able, but how much farther would we get down the road of growing in Christ if we were truly talking to each other in a way that brought godliness in our lives, instead of filth, fear and ungratefulness? I don’t want to walk around offending people all the time, but then again Jesus did if it was needed and I’m called to be like Him. The bible tells us we can’t travel down the same path unless we are like minded…it’s commanded to set yourselves and your children apart. We can go out into the world, but don’t get to friendly with it. If others refuse to repent and think like Christ, love like Christ and speak like Christ, pray for them…but don’t follow them. It’s ok not to like someone! It’s ok to even walk away from family that is making choices that you can’t be part of bc you love Christ more than them. Do you want your children to choose friends that will help them or hurt them? How will they know how this is done unless you show them the hard truth of how it’s done? None of us want to make others uncomfortable, but that’s how Christ loved you. He was willing to make you uncomfortable in your sin so you would repent of it, bc He loves you.

How many salvations did we inhibit by making Christ look like a hypocrite in our lives? How many christians did we help down the path of sin bc we chose to silently, or vocally, make them believe we were ok with it.

I know in our attention deficit world that most people didn’t read passed the 2 paragraph, but if you are still reading and like me hear God speaking to you about this, answer Him.

First examine your salvation. Are you truly saved? Or did you emotionally “pray this little prayer?” The scripture says, “Test yourselves to see if you are in the faith; examine yourselves! Or do you not recognize this about yourselves, that Jesus Christ is in you– unless indeed you fail the test?” 2 Cor 13:5  If you’ve been saved for anytime do you recognize the following things to any extent in your life?

1-Do you Enjoy Fellowship with God and Christ?
2-Are you Sensitive to Sin in your Life?
3-Do you Obey the Scriptures?
4-Do you Reject this Evil World?
5-Do you Love Christ and eagerly await His Return?
6-Do you see a Decreasing Pattern of Sin in your Life?
7-Do you Love other Christians?
8-Do you Receive Answers to your Prayers?
9-Do you Experience the Ministry of the Holy Spirit?
10-Can you Discern between Spiritual Truth and Error?
11-Have you Suffered on Account of your Faith in Christ?

Learn more:

Test your faith, John MacArthur


Am I a luke warm christian? Have you put on the white robe of Jesus’ salvation and yet when you look down, you have defaced it so much you can’t see it anymore?


1 – Do Cares & Worries of This Life Dominate Most of Your Thoughts & Conversations?
2 – Do You Practice Sin on a Regular Basis?
3 – Do You “Love” The Things of This World More Than God’s Word?
4 – Are You Too Busy for Jesus? What are Your Priorities?
5 – Do You Use God’s Name In Vain? (‘Oh My G-d?’)
6 – Do You Fail to Pray Earnestly & Pray for the Lost Who Will Spend Eternity in Hell?
7 – Do You Fail to Preach the Gospel on a Regular Basis? OR Do You Hinder Others?
8 – Are You Indifferent About Your Sin? What is Your Attitude?
9 – Do You Seek After Worldly Wealth & Fame vs Seeking First The Kingdom of God?
10-Do You Fail to Obey Jesus, and God’s Word Consistently?

Read more:

Am I lukewarm?

Whichever is the case ANSWER HIM NOW. Repent on one side or the other.  Be broken over your sin and pray for His strength, commit to do things His way and receive the blessing this brings OR crumble in brokenness of your sin, repent and tell Him you know He is the only answer. He died for you, rose again and wants to be Lord of your life. Accept His salvation and live it.

How does one trust in Jesus


This would be true change in our world.

God forgive us all!

The performance beast raises it’s ugly head again…

The performance beast raises it’s ugly head again…

Since reading a post from ‘Raising Godly Children’ about “raising little Pharisees” (an excellent post by the way), I have fallen under great conviction.  As I read it and my children matched up to the criteria of Pharisees and my parenting style matched up with the criteria of a Pharisee, I was stopped in my tracks.  I began re-assessing all kinds of things in our daily life.  I began to realize that although my intentions to fill them with the ways of the Lord, the way I was doing it was very wrong.  I had done the very thing that God has NOT done with me…made things of the law.  Not that I yelled at them all the time (but I am guilty), not that I sacrificed animals with them, not that I never show them love and not that I myself perform spiritual rituals with no true love for the Father.  I do love the Lord, with all my heart, soul, mind and strength.  But I was intensely trying to force them to obey Him because I loved Him…not teaching them in a way that they would obey because they love Him.  Now I do believe that my kids love the Lord, but my harsh teaching style when it came to life lessons was probably giving them reason to doubt, AND was not creating repentance in them.  It was creating little law abiders.  Oh they love the law!  Because they are generally good kids and are able to most times fulfill it.  And heaven knows they have learned to spot those that are NOT fulfilling it. Little Pharisees.

So I have been trying to take complete inventory of what I’ve taught them and more importantly what I’ve shown them.   The way I have let Pharisee law creep into our home is by disciplining them when I was angry.  Or disciplining them more when I was frustrated because I was wanting to do something  and they were interrupting me.  Or by telling them that those that love the Lord follow His rules, so why are they not doing that?  …By rating them on their performance.  This is hard to write and was even harder to face, because I, being raised on the principal that performance is what counts was trying so hard not to let my kids learn that wicked, never relenting message.  Yet here I am almost 10 years into parenting with 2 little Pharisees.   Prided when the did right and quick to point out those that don’t.  Hearts that were hardening to the gospel because they thought, ‘We’ve got this” since they could follow the law most of the time.

I thought I was giving grace.  There are many times I didn’t give what they would deserve.  And mercy because I gave them freedom when they didn’t deserve it.  But I was so harsh when I did give them consequences, and so harsh when they failed to perform that they were learning the disease I have been fighting against in my own mind, so hard, …all my life…performance based grace.

My inability to see it makes me cry even now.  I am so blessed that God has opened my eyes while I have time to change; albeit not much.

I see it so many times in my husband and I both…we are frustrated and will pierce their hearts with how badly they performed; instead of taking the time to teach them and bring their hearts to repentance.  Sometimes out of laziness, sometimes out of selfishness, sometimes out of bad insight on how to make them change, but always saying the same thing…you didn’t measure up and somethings wrong with you because of it.  Yeah somethings wrong…WITH ALL OF US!  It started with Adam and Eve and until my Lord comes for us we will all be wrong in our performance.  That why Jesus came.  How did I miss this?

My youngest daughter will probably struggle with this more because she is already inclined to self-righteousness by the fact that it is her nature to over-achieve.  So like me we can easily think ourselves to be the pride of the Father because we are performing so well.  I hate it.  I wished so badly I would have fought this ugly monster for her earlier.  I know in my own life how hard it is to fight after it’s taken hold.  This blog post is the very proof that I don’t even always see it manifesting itself.

And my poor older daughter that is inclined to laziness, possibly because I’ve made it impossible to achieve for her since her nature is not to over-achieve but to enjoy everything she sees around her.  Who has time to enjoy when there is so much to be done?  (my wretched motto)

I’m broken about this, but also encouraged that the Lord is shining light on it, telling me He has stepped in to change it.  I cannot change it.  I have failed to do the very thing that I desire the most…to give my girls a love for the Lord that surpasses anything else.  To make them realize their value is in God’s love for us, not our own accomplishments.

I love the Lord so much because He has been the only one in my life that did not expect me to perform.  He has been the only one I can remember that said, “I just want your heart, nothing more, because I love you just as you are.”   All those years I spent trying to prove I was good and worthy to be loved ended in the same place, heart-broken, frustrated and wondering where I hadn’t done enough.  A place that would send me into a heel-digging, overachiever, determined to do EVERYTHING PERFECT the next time phase.

Finally I picked up a bible and started reading it.  Finally I heard the heart of THE PERFECT ONE and finally He got it thru to me that I needn’t prove myself to Him.  Well I say “got it thru,” maybe getting it thru is a more honest statement.  Obviously I am still struggling with this performance beast.  But thankfully I have the Lord on my side now.  So when I end up in this heart-broken, frustrated, and wondering where I haven’t done enough place…I can repent, ask the Lord for help and have hope shine on me…love shine on me, just because He thinks I’m worth it.  Broken, sinful me is worth it to Him.  And so are my little Pharisees, to both of us.

Please read this with this in mind, God loves us freely.  He teaches us kindly.  Deals with us patiently.  And He values us regardless.  Do the same with your children.  And pray that God will heal me and mine.

In awe…


I sit here in awe of the faith building, kingdom adding, miracles of God that He has shown me in the last few months.  Sometimes I am in this place where I pray that the Lord would come back to save His sons and daughters of pain, and also those children that would be safe because they are not yet accountable.  The view from human eyes looks dim, so we focus there and forget how powerful God is.  I see broken families that I pray desperately for, sisters and brothers that fall away from their faith, pain come to those that are following their faith, children with open hearts squashed by worldly parents, physical illness hold the elderly in a prison, salvation offered and rejected and I wonder…when will You come?  When will You stop the evilness that runs wild here?  Selfishly I wonder when He will stop my pain?  My children’s pain?  My husband’s?  Oh but how joyful I am that I am not in control, nor do I make those decisions.  Because my blindness is His wisdom!  He has plans, He has people to make His children, He has lives to grow His love inside, He still has wounds to heal for some, and wounds to inflict on others so that they might grow in His grace.  He has a Kingdom to run, I have NO idea the lengths or depths of how that is done.  What I do know is this when we are faithful He will bring fruit.  And that fruit is worth the pain suffered.

Just 2 days ago I was blessed to have the Lord show up in the lives of 12 little girls and 2 big girls.  The last day of GWAP for this year was a MIGHTY ONE!!  I was prayed up, and I thought, prepared and expecting the Lord Almighty to show …and show up big, but my little mind had no idea!!!  We started class and had another awesome time of questions and answers.  And in the Sr. class they were big people questions…such as, ‘what is worldliness?’  ‘how do we not sin?’  ‘what does propitiation mean?’  ‘how does showing too much skin lead to impurity?’  and on and on.  I felt that we discussed some real “meat.”  Then it was over to the big church to worship and praise God with our voices.  Something about that many girls gathered at the altar of God singing about how His great name heals all, saves all and loves all is indescribable!!  As we sang I told them verses to apply to the songs so that they could relate that we weren’t just singing, we were praising and celebrating the goodness of God.

Now God had impressed on me that He was gonna do something big here, but what I discovered was that big to me and BIG TO HIM are two different things!!  I should back up a week.  I had two girls tell me the week before that they asked Jesus into their hearts at home…well I didn’t have the chance to talk to them one on one before they had to leave that week.  So I had been preparing to talk to them 1st, before class started.  I did, and really felt that these girls sincerely received Christ and were now God’s children.   That was my idea of big.  Here’s God’s:  As we were singing and praising girl after girl began to be stirred, then convicted and when it was all said and done 3 more girls surrendered to Christ and ALL of them were convicted and crying about something.  Some were too young to understand the conviction, some didn’t have the knowledge to apply to it, some were too scared to receive it, for some they just didn’t have words…but all were moved by the mighty hand of God!!   Including their 2 big girl teachers!!  My sister-in-Christ Eryn and I were speechless.  We were overwhelmed.

I had promised a pizza party after our worship and as I drove across the street to buy the pizza I had waiting, I was shaking and couldn’t put 2 sentences together because God’s bigness is more than we humans can handle.  We just can’t get it.  As much love as I feel for God and as much reverence as I feel for God I cannot begin to come close to giving Him what He deserves.  I can’t imagine being in His presence.  I can’t imagine His glory.  And I can’t imagine how overtaken I will be just to be in heaven with Him.

Sometimes I think our over-valued egos lead us to think we are “something.”  Let me be the first to repent right now…with the cross in the background and His work in my life in the foreground, I am so little…so small and yet still sooooo loved.   I marvel at how a God so big, so powerful, so important and so busy has time to hear the tearful, small voice of a wife/mother/teacher/friend and follower of His Son beg for His help to tend her flock.  Beg for Him to cover her mistakes.  Beg for Him to change her impurities so that she can serve Him more wholly.  Beg for Him to provide what she absolutely does not derserve…and then deliver results like I saw Friday.

In the voice of Bill and Ted…”I AM SO NOT WORTHY!”

Thank You Father for hearing me, acting on my behalf and the behalf of those children.  Thank You Father for taking the time to love me and include me in things that I could never do myself.  Thank You Father for saving eternity for 5 little girls and encouraging 2 big girls to keep fighting, praying and loving…no matter how dim it might seem.

Hallelujah!!  Hallelujah!!  Hallelujah!!!!