Monthly Archives: March 2012

April Calendar Events

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We have a great God and our Haleigh Ohl has recently become one of His!!  She gave her heart to Jesus and now is getting baptized!!  Praise Jesus!!  I have listed her baptism on the calendar I created for the month of April.  Be sure to read the side Notes.  They have some summer info on them, also some Sunday and Wednesday info so that the girls can stay in fellowship until next year!

Thanks!!

gwap schedule april 2012

You can find more info on VBS, Kidz Kamp and weekly church on this website…

http://www.wellstonmbc.com/

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Putting God’s Word into the hearts of our kids…

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I love the idea of hiding God’s word in the hearts of my girls.  Because the power in His Word is so big!!  When I am not there nor able to instuct them, I can “fall back” on that power and those words to deliver them from diaster!  Here is a great list of verses that are easily worded and able to be memorized by young children.

I totally recommend them for family worship time or just sitting around the breakfast/dinner table and enticing them with compettion to learn more verses than their parents!!   Let’s face it most of us wish we had more verses memorized, so I entice YOU!!  See how many you can learn!  🙂

http://ministry-to-children.com/30-easy-bible-verses/

I also really like this site for a lot of their information and ideas!

Have fun…and your kids will be testing you, that I promise!!  lol

To tell ya the truth…

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So I’ve been wanting to write but either bc my desk was so covered I couldn’t find the keyboard or bc I could only glance at my desk on the way by, I haven’t made it. Now due to the need for an emotional cleansing here I sit while I should be checking to make sure my girls are getting ready for bed!!

For the last little bit I have been watching some things I didn’t like in my oldest daughter. I have seen laziness, dishonesty and disobedience rearing its ugly head and in the last week it has been like a brick wall that I have run into at about 50 miles an hour. I was kidding myself early on by telling myself that it is just a phase and she’ll pull out of it. Or that it’s probably not as bad as I think, or that all kids go thru this and if I just keep reading the bible to her she’ll be fine. Nothin’ doin’!

I had to sit across from her eye doctor today and listen as he told me that he knew she has been lying to them about the results of her work and it was killing us in making progress to fix her eyes. It’s one thing when in amongst your family you notice bad behavior, but when outside people begin to tell you they see a pattern of something as unappealing as dishonesty! It was not fun. It capped off about a week of total frustration in a knock-the-breath-out-of-you way. Three nights ago I layed face down in her room praying for her and begging God to stop Satan’s attack on her and her integrity. This morning I woke after 2 days of discipline to her repeating the offenses of disobedience and laziness. I am struggling in my motherhood to say the least. Where did I go wrong? Where did I derail her sweet Jesus heart?

I don’t know exactly, but I see two things that have killed us: her love language is one I don’t speak very well and we as parents have failed in consistency. She has enough bible pumped into her that she could be a scholar, but she hasn’t been getting the love…the kind of love that she understands…pumped at an equal speed. She is my butterfly chaser. My la la land liver. My piddle til I dropper. I try many times to stop and get on this level with her, but that is like asking a fish to walk for OCD me. Overachiever, performance based grace, finish what you start me, wants to accomplish something or sleep. That is my way. And I am killing my relationship with my daughter. I can fast-forward and see her at 15 screaming at me and leaving the house jumping in a car and doing who knows what while I cry and pray that she makes it home safe. This is how well-meaning parents end up with rebellious kids in my opinion. They love them but they choke them with that love, bc the kid doesn’t see love the same way the parent does. I have read, “The 5 Love Languages of Children” and I can totally see from it what happens, what is happening in my own home. My daughter is 9 and needs some time to be goofy and piddly with her mom. Why do I return here so often? Why do I lay in bed at night and wish that I would have stopped doing laundry long enough to go look at her secret hideout? Why didn’t I put off dinner and go explore the pasture with her? Why didn’t I listen better when she was telling me about the patch of wild flowers she found? It brings tears to my eyes right now.

What adds to this destruction is that this type of guilt cripples me when it’s time to discipline correctly bc I don’t want to hurt her more, and she doesn’t have the desire to please me so the fact that I’m disappointed is of no concern to her. When we obey bc of love, it’s real obedience…when we obey bc of what it might cost us, it does nothing to our heart and that is God’s main concern.

I started this by saying it is emotional cleansing that I was seeking. I need that, but I am in dire need of a change of heart. I pray all the time for the Lord to help me live in the moment more… to be whimsical, silly…soft. I don’t want to be the mom remembered for keeping all the ends tied up, and leaving all the hearts undone. My young life taught me to “suck it up and deal with it.” There’s no time to feel, bc if I did I wouldn’t have the emotional or mental ability to get thru another day. I had to keep my nose to the grindstone and hope it was good enough. I have worked on this problem so much and begged for God to heal this in my so many times it’s ridiulous…and it just keeps on hitting me in the face. I know God is helping me and has done so much to change things that are a result of my childhood. But this is my thorn, my cross to bear. So it will be a battle I assume until my Lord heals me for good by taking me home or coming back.

I am putting this out there bc I hope for 2 things; that I can come back and remember this post when I still have daylight to change my choices and to share with other parents that need to see a different way, to learn from what I do wrong. Maybe to shine light on their choices and make sense of why no matter how hard they try to teach their kids what is right to do, if they don’t fill them with love (in a way they can understand) they are spinning in the mud. I read and post and study great parenting material all the time, but maybe I should be coloring rainbows and chasing grasshoppers with that time. It’s crazy to think that I don’t know how to be silly.

My prayer is for balance. Balance of diligence and silliness. Balance of fairy tales and truth. God help me save my children from the emptiness that leaves their hearts wide open to Satan’s lies.

Love is patient, love is kind…love (at least in this house) has to be silly, soft and fun! Thank You Lord that You love me in a way that I can understand, help me to do the same.

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Up too early

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I’ve been up since 4:30am, awake since 2:30am bc I just keep thinking about the awesome blessings God is giving me in ministry!  I had such an awesome time in class with the new G.W.A.P. class yesterday.  My heart was awakened to love for these girls after just one day.  They all were looking and listening with such a genuine desire to know what I was talking about.  And to realize that what I was talking about was the most important thing this world has…Jesus!  God showed up, the girls showed up and I was blessed to watch it.  I also saw such a huge amount of Jesus in my daughters.  Add to that, that I love my kids in Wednesday night class.  Do I think they listen to me all the time?  No.  Do I think they know what I’m trying to teach?  Not always, but I love those little guys and gals.  I just couldn’t get any of these little faces off my mind long enough to go back to sleep.  I prayed for them, and prayed for them and prayed for them.  And after the power God has shown me this week that is available to us thru prayer…I had comfort knowing His hand is what I trust in caring for them.  He is big!!

Then I got up and started on some things that I layed there thinking about.  As I did I saw some really neat videos from times gone by and it made me cry good tears for all the people and times my family have shared.  I am going to try to put a very cool Kidz Kamp video in this post, more for me than anyone.  I just wanna highlight that time again and relish in the fun of it.

http://youtu.be/KVcXD2L81bk

And a sweet one I found of my youngest…doing her thang!

http://youtu.be/IqWUSNRQAYQ

I have more videos and pictures to go look at and reminisce about…so have a blessed day and live in the moment…absorb every one, and see it for the blessing it is.  If you have strayed from the Lord or never knew Him, you won’t be able to receive the blessings of the moments that I want you to, so turn back or turn up…you don’t know what you’re missing!!!

Truth? Or not?

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King Jesus is All

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Yes He is!!  We sang this song in kids choir last night and it is so true, and thank God that it is!!  Thank God that I need nothing else to have peace and security.  Thank God that I don’t have to wander anymore to and fro wondering why I am not whole.  Thank God that He loves me enough to reprimand me when I take my eyes off Him to look for my own way.  Thank God that He is the rock that steadies me.  I have tried a thousand different rocks to steady me, but once I stood on them it turned out they weren’t rocks at all…they were a shell that crumbled with my first step.

I sit here today relying on His peace which passes all understanding because I took myself on my own course for a minute and began losing that peace.  Thankfully He reminded me very quickly what matters.  See God has opened a wonderful opportunity for me to serve Him by feeding His sheep.  That’s sound awesome, right?  Well here is the sad part…once He put it in motion for me, set it up, and layed it before me, well I rejected Him.  And I have even been praying for these sheep!!!  I began to think of the costs.  I took my focus off of His Kingdom and put it on my convenience.  This breaks my heart because I truly thought I would jump at the chance to serve God and His people, especially in the way this was given to me.  I spend so much time with Him!  I praise Him!  I love Him!  I felt as though I was covering some spiritual ground with leaps!  And yet when blessed with His calling, I rejected it.  This brought me face-down in grief once He showed me what I had done.  It stamped humility on my forehead and lit up selfishness like a neon light!  I am forgiven because I repented the moment He unveiled my selfish heart, but I am greatly reminded that we can be one step away from rejecting HIm at any time.  It reminded me not to get on my super christian horse because such a thing does not exist!!  It showed me that I will always have to work and seek HIm whole-heartedly without laziness until the Day of the Lord or my death.   And it also reminded me of GRACE.  That His faithfulness is much bigger than mine and that He gives me grace…not because I earned it, deserve it, or somehow am owed it.  He gives me grace because HE is good.  Because HE loves me.  Because HE is patient.  Because HE LOVES ME!  And that is very humbling and wells up huge amounts of thankfulness in my heart!

Did I say that He is patient?  How many times does He so lovingly teach me the same lessons?  Remember, “I wanna be like Mike?”  Well I love Michael Jordan, but “I wanna be like Jesus!”  I want to love like Him, give like Him, wait like Him, and correct like Him.

I needed to share because I know many people struggle when they stumble…I definately do (remember my performance based grace problem).  But don’t rely on your doing it right, rely on you bringing the effort and Him bringing everything else!

I serve a great God and I am renewed in His fresh mercy this morning.  I will walk with HIm, talk with Him and submit to Him…even if He has to buckle my knees first to remind me to see my life as He does, not as I do.

Stay tuned…

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So I have been so inspired to write for the last two days with no time to write.  Now as I sit here WITH time I have no thoughts!

Ok a trip around the internet to study home school curriculum has inspired me.  HOLY MOLY!!  Are you kidding me?  There is so much to review and read, learn, look-at, try…let me stop this crazy train right here!  Prayer Prayer Prayer!!

There can be no other way (besides a blindfold and a dartboard) to figure this deal out.  There is too much out there and so much of it is probably great, but I can’t get past “what do you want your child to learn?”  Is that a real question?  If you say, ‘what everyone learns,’ you’ve just dumped them back into public school.  If you say, ‘all they can,’ you’ve just sent an OCDer like me into an ocean of lists.  If you say, ‘all academics from a biblical vantage point,’ you begin wondering how much you need to learn first.

So I’ll stick to prayer and some wise words from a dear ex-school teacher friend, “stick to a developed curriculum the first year.”  Genius, she is!  Now for the Lord to convince me which one He foresees to be the best….be still and let me be God.  Yeah that is a struggle spot for a list-checker-offer like me.

An hour and a half later and I’m right back in the same spot I was an hour and a half ago.  Genius, I am not!

Exhale, pray, and go look at Pinterest.  🙂

Change courses

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Wow.  Wow.  I sit here in wow.  God continues to wow me.  I will sit and ponder what He has in store and my mind can’t reach the places to know.  So I pick up one foot and put it in front of another.  It doesn’t take long before I look back and say, “wow!”

Just last Tuesday God made it evident to me that I was to quit teaching a women’s class near our home.  I was saddened because I really love these ladies and enjoy being part of watchng them change courses.  I grieved for a couple of days, as I kept God in my sights knowing that His will is better than mine; yet not understanding the change.  It took all of 5 days for me to recognize a new branch beginning to grow in my life.  My daughters bible study was beginning to take flight.  At first it freaked me out because I am very prone to freak outs especially when they involve me being responsible for something.  I like to over-do.  I fight performance based grace EVERYDAY!  So when weeks worth of prayers from the bible study started to be answered right before my eyes…I freaked out.  Luckily I finally know myself well enough to wait out the freak out and pray.  I did.  It was simple, we prayed for specific girls to come to know Jesus and now they were sitting across a table from me and I was drowning in a pool of self uh-oh’s!  Why am I like that?  It takes me a minute (or 10) to recognize God’s goodness and grace and get on board.  I tend to like to control my surprises.  I am so glad that I can’t.

Now I sit in the eye of the hurricane and wait for God to still the winds and let me step out to see the new world.  I hope to journal about this more because it is an amazing ride, but for now I will return to the mundane works of a mother…with a shine in my eyes.  I pray if you meet me you will see that sparkle and immediately recognize The Creator of all things good.  That you will see my love for Him and my body will only be a vessel for you to travel thru to meet Him, know Him better…or admire Him more.

Have a great day!